Oh, the M&S Christmas Food Magazine is Out

Ah yes, the M&S Christmas food magazine has landed. Britain gets shimmering trifles, pigs in blankets by the battalion, and turkeys with a glaze so glossy you can see your face in them. And here we are in Australia, staring at our laptops like Dickensian orphans, noses pressed up against the glass of the internet, whispering, “Please sir, may I have some pudding?”

I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve sighed over an M&S yule log, I could probably charter a plane to fly one over. I’d even pay extra for the baggage allowance. Honestly, I’d trade my neighbour’s fairy lights, three rolls of wrapping paper, and possibly Carl’s camping chair just to get my hands on a box of those chocolate fir cone things.

Instead, we make do. Our festive spreads are built on memory and improvisation: a pavlova pretending to be a Christmas pudding, stuffing balls cobbled together from sausages that “weren’t quite right”, and cranberry sauce that has travelled further than Father Christmas. But still, the ritual remains. We ex-pats dutifully flick through the pages, torture ourselves with visions of cocktail canapés, and tell ourselves that mango really does belong in December.

​So yes, the M&S magazine is out. Go on, pour yourself a glass of fizz, have a little cry over the prawn ring, and then get back to reality. Because this year, like every year, Christmas dinner is coming from our own kitchens, and honestly, it’ll taste all the sweeter for it.